A madman's diary, part one

 I asked my homemade god, how can I grasp the strings that make up the fabric of the universe? They said It's straightforward, don't try.

 From the meaningless time my conscious has spent in this universe, I have understood that the notion of the ordinary is irrelevant. The laws of physics, which might be the truth in our tiny home, may not be valid anywhere else. 

Sometimes, I wonder if my musings hold any meaning. Perhaps it does. But the more I think about it, the more I realise that the universe is meaningless. Its native state is nothingness. It is us, intruders who are searching for meaning in a sea of nothingness. There is no need to look for a purpose. Our pursuit is inconsequential.

One can try looking at life with rose coloured glasses in pursuit of immortality. However, this strives to be relevant in futile. Unfortunately, humans give themself's way too much relevance. 

This is my personal brand of humour- knowing people who believe their words and actions will be remembered. People clamour to have their name engraved in the world's history- seemingly unaware that it is simply made up.

I'm not a desolate person; I am just pointing out the trivial nature of human lives. Humans are trying to find order and peace while disrupting the nothingness they exist in. even the concept of order is made up; it is created out of the chaos humans have created. So is it not oxymoronic that we are trying to rid ourselves of the mess and delirium we have created. We make our own problems and crib to the universe. 

Some would say that universe is but an observer. However, I believe that our activities are way too insignificant for the gods to notice us. Therefore, our understanding ceases beyond the three dimensions. And I must say, it is not possible to comprehend anything beyond that.

Maybe all our lives are a part of a story. Perhaps someone is watching us, from another world. That, however, is also assigning too much importance to our being. 

Mayhaps I am a pessimistic, negative person. Maybe all this introspection is incorrect, and we all are indeed the centre of our universe. I am not against the idea. In fact, I would rather it be the truth. 

I am no one but a person with too much time and despair in my mind. However, I try to be positive sometimes; if our actions are inconsequential and insignificant, we might do what our heart desires; who are we to confine our consciousness in cages of society?